Soulful Findings.

As you may [or may not] have noticed, It has been a while since my last post.
Yes, I have been spending some more time painting, working, reading, writing etc.
However, I have also been spending a lot more time mulling over some things within my mind and within my soul.
Many of my readers do not know me personally.
Maybe you know my parents, a mutual friend on Facebook, or maybe you knew me at one time in my life, but referring to the person I am now: You may only experience through my presence on social media.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, My Blog – My 18 year old sister would call me disconnected, and my mother would call me obsessed.
There is no winning with social media.
In fact, when I was working on a macrame plant hanger, my boyfriend TJ was lying on my bed scrolling through Twitter. He looked up at me and said,
“Oh God. Uh, we are at war with North Korea I guess?”
In that moment, my heart sunk. The only thing I knew about North Korea was that they brainwash their citizens from birth to be fully committed to their country. They keep them in a bubble, isolated from the world – allowing them to only see what the government wants them to see.
I looked down at my rope I had been tying in half knots over and over again to create a swirl design for one of the plant hangers main holds & out my window at the most beautiful sky I had seen in days.
I rashly thought that I must go out and enjoy this day before the days are no longer mine to enjoy.
The amazing hundred year old tree in front of the white blue sky before me, suddenly became grey – almost as if I was in a vintage black and white movie.
Cannon balls knocked down the gentle giant arbor that had so sweetly nestled among the glass bottles and beer cans my downstairs neighbors would throw at him in awaiting for the ‘can fairies’ to come by the next morning.
And while my sheltered, spoiled, angry old roommate screamed at me while attempting to perfectly manipulated her father into thinking just what she wanted, my heart broke for her. Not because of her.
If I have to face sad, angry people for it to make my world view more inclusive and accurate-then so be it.
I didn’t know why she hated me so much, but cried because she really didn’t know the reality her small world view had.
How it negatively impacted millions of people whom she was unconcerned and unaware of.
For how little she knew about the world.
I think of the children in Sierra Leon. 
TJ has a FANTASTIC cousin who served in Sierra Leon for a few years through the Peace Corps. Presently running SSAAP, a water, food, and nutrition sustainability project working to feed, clothe, and quench the thirst of these desperate, kind-hearted African Parents and their children.
I think of the refugees here in America.
The other day, I spoke with the AMAZING Molly Thrasher, heading up Try Freedom Stories. She travels around delving into peoples lives, learning more about them – what makes their particular experience theirs. Today, she is working on refugees here in America. What their experience here is like, knowing little about our culture, trying desperately to fit in, but fearful for their lives as well.
I think of the little boy without a father or little girl whose mother calls her fat and ugly.
The boy getting rejected and the girl getting excluded.
The man getting fired from another job, wondering how he’ll pay this months’ bills.
The woman getting another negative test, knowing she is infertile from teenage vanity.
The young boy I saw, as I walked to work the other morning, sweat drenching the back of his yellow polo, his pants three sizes too big, holding a grocery bag with sneakers in them. My heart dropped. He walked so slowly, it was so hot – so early, and he had been clearly walking for such a long time.
I didn’t know his story, but I instantly knew from looking at him that this young man was a polite, quiet, hardworking, smart teenage boy – who was jumping through the hoops of society just to catch half of a break in his life.
I thought back to myself at his age. [What I estimated to be about 13.]
I had my first boyfriend. I wore my sister’s uniform skirts to school, paired with knee high socks, saddle oxfords, and just a tank top underneath the school’s sweater – liking how it looked buttoned all the way up without a polo on under it.
I carried around a pink L.L. Bean backpack, and went to school everyday in a brand new building, where I didn’t even know what ‘free and reduced lunch’ was.
I was one of the ‘not so rich’ kids because my house only had two stories, and my dad was only high up in the company – he didn’t own the whole thing.
My friends thought I was a super weird kid because my parents made me do chores to earn a weekly allowance, and didn’t just buy me the new nano just because.
There are people who live in bubbles their entire lives.
You have a choice.
Live in a bubble, and turn your back against your fellow man –
Or be a human being – and BE THE CHANGE you wish to see in the world.
Finally, I’d like to share a couple of poems.
The first, Desiderata [by Max Ehrmann]  which I have simply fallen madly in love with.
The second is a rendition I did of Jay Woodman’s ‘The World Is’ statement.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly.
Listen to others. For even the dull and the ignorant too have their story.
Our largest mistake is thinking everyone thinks the way we do.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter.
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interest and humility in your career; true possessions in time’s changing fortunes.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
Let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
Many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in aridity & disenchantment it is as perennial as grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.

The World Is [Int.]

A mosaic of greedy child’s eyes as they hunger for color and love and light
A coaxing whisper of wind lisped trees or of sympathetic stars to a wishing gaze
A seemingly nefarious roar of arid wishes for clouds or mortal ocean waves disturbed;
Tumulting cities is disarranged, not amended, through intrusions of majestic jungles.
What right have we to carry desperate mouths up mountains or into deserts?
Expectations of begetting poems from space and silence,
The vastness does suggest our slightness, but rather the knowledge we are without.
We are mere babes in the universe, all brothers and sisters in the nursery together.
We had better learn to play nicely before we’re allowed out
And we want to go out
don’t we?
Into the distant humming
welcoming
darkness.
As an appreciation for the small, yet important, moments of my life – here’s a look into what life has been like lately~

Until Next Time –

Madison (1)

 

 

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