Don’t believe everything you think – Your mind can be a very convincing liar.
When a cruel, discouraging, non-serving, or self-depreciating thought goes through your mind, you have two choices. You can believe the thought, or not believe the thought. Thoughts are just thoughts. Whether or not you believe those thoughts is a choice that you get to make-isn’t that exciting?
When we believe negative thoughts
When we continue to believe the negative thoughts we have about ourselves, we get trapped in the endless cycle of self-doubt. They create new negative thoughts and doubts in our mind. They create fears out of situations we never feared before. They blind us to the open doors and opportunities life presents us with. They crush our self-esteem, self-confidence, and leave us looking for worth and confidence everywhere except the place where the problem originated in the first place-within ourselves.
You do not deserve happiness.
You deserve happiness, and you deserve it in bounties more than you could imagine. Ironically, you can’t have happiness when you’re telling yourself that you don’t deserve happiness. Happiness flows to you when you fully expect it, not when you resist it. It works very similarly to love; when you believe you are allowed to be happy, you present happiness to the world, and the world will give happiness back.
You are not worthy of love.
Self-love is a choice that you can make every day. Loving ourselves is the last thing we are supposed to do in our society of ‘climbing the ladder’. When you love yourself, and I mean a wholesome love – not necessarily confidence. Confidence is something we give off-while love is something personal. Personally loving yourself will shape in so many ways how you present yourself to the world. Once you love yourself completely, you will begin to notice all of the things about others and the world that you love as well. When you love the world-It loves you back.
Your dreams are too unrealistic or impractical.
Each day people achieve amazing things. They rise up against the forces pushing against them and create change for the better. There are stories of every demographic, age, race, and gender achieving their dreams. They rise to the occasion. They by-pass the limits. They aren’t waiting for anyone to give them permission to live their lives, fulfill their dreams, and make a change. You don’t need permission either.
“The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.” -Mack R.. Douglas
I’m limited in my possibilities because of ‘the cards I was dealt”
Poor people, rich people, black people, white people, old people, young people, married people, single people-there are stories from every race, gender, demographic and background. So many of us go through life resisting what the world is presenting to us because of our past, our fears, or our limitations that we put on ourselves. While the world will present you with hardships, you can be one of two things; either your biggest cheerleader, or your biggest limitation.
My current life is keeping me from my future life.
We have to accept and make peace with the “now” before we can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.” One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next step in your journey, is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are. Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou
He/She/They are just perfect.
The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not. When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.
There is more wrong with you than right with you.
“Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn. As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose.
I know the thoughts-But how do I get rid of them?
Write Them Down
Writing down these thoughts makes them real, and causes you to self-examine yourself in ways that you might not have before! It can lead to some amazing awareness that you might not have had before. Although it is a bit frightening, it’s the first step in letting go of them.
Take Them One-By-One
Don’t get overwhelmed if you have multiple-take each, one at a time, and work with them. When you are addressing a particular thought, that is the only thought that matters. In fact, I found it helpful to write down each thought on a separate sheet of paper to help me to concentrate on just that one!
Ask The 3 Questions
- Where does this thought come from? When did you first believe it? Who or what influenced you to believe it?
- What is this belief giving you in your life? What need is it fulfilling for you? Why are you holding onto it?
- How has believing this affected your life? Has it kept you from any opportunities or achievements that you would have attempted or had – had you not believed it?
Turn the thought into the opposite of itself; and into something positive.
Negative Thought: “I’m not good enough because I’m divorced”
Flipped: “I had the courage to walk away from an unhealthy relationship and take the first step to realizing my full potential!”
Negative Thought: “As hard as I try to be perfect, I am still falling short!”
Flipped:”I have made so much self progress-look at how far I have come, and how that will continue to propel me forward to continue to make progress!”
Keep On Trudging
As hard as this is in the beginning, the more you do this, the less you think about it-and the more your mind will actually just do it on it’s own. The more positive love, self-talk, compassion, and happiness you have towards yourself; the more you will start searching for those things in the world. When we realize we have the power to control our own minds-the world completely changes.